Torrance quite nastily. 'But, as I tell you, I didn't know I had ceased to be young, I went into Regent's Park and tried to run a mile.'
'Lummy, you might have killed yourself.'
'I nearly did--especially as I had put a weight on my shoulders to represent my kit. I kept at it for a week, but I knew the game was up. The discovery was pretty grim, Roger.'
'Don't you bother about that part of it. You are doing your share, taking care of mother and Emma.'
Mr. Torrance emits a laugh of self-contempt. 'I am not taking care of them. It is you who are taking care of them. My friend, you are the head of the house now.'
'Father!'
'Yes, we have come back to hard facts, and the defender of the house is the head of it.'
'Me? Fudge.'
'It's true. The thing that makes me wince most is that some of my contemporaries have managed to squeeze back: back into youth, Roger, though I guess they were a pretty tight fit in the turnstile. There is Coxon; he is in khaki now, with his hair dyed, and when he and I meet at the club we know that we belong to different generations. I'm a decent old fellow, but I don't really count any more, while Coxon, lucky dog, is being damned daily on parade.'
'I hate your feeling it in that way, father.'
'I don't say it is a palatable draught, but when the war is over we shall all shake down to the new conditions. No fear of my being sarcastic to you then, Roger. I'll have to be jolly respectful.'
'Shut up, father!'
'You've begun, you see. Don't worry, Roger. Any rawness I might feel in having missed the chance of seeing whether I was a man--like Coxon, confound him!--is swallowed up in the pride of giving the chance to you. I'm in a shiver about you, but--It's all true, Roger, what your mother said about 2nd Lieutenants. Till the other day we were so little of a military nation that most of us didn't know there were 2nd Lieutenants. And now, in thousands of homes we feel that there is nothing else. 2nd Lieutenant! It is like a new word to us--one, I daresay, of many that the war will add to our language. We have taken to it, Roger. If a son of mine were to tarnish it--'
'I'll try not to,' Roger growls.
'If you did, I should just know that there had been something wrong about me.'
Gruffly, 'You're all right.'
'If I am, you are.' It is a winning face that Mr. Torrance turns on his son. 'I suppose you have been asking yourself of late, what if you were to turn out to be a funk!'
'Father, how did you know?'
'I know because you are me. Because ever since there was talk of this commission I have been thinking and thinking what were you thinking--so as to help you.'
This itself is a help. Roger's hand--but he withdraws it hurriedly.
'They all seem to be so frightfully brave, father,' he says wistfully.
'I expect, Roger, that the best of them had the same qualms as you before their first engagement.'
'I--I kind of think, father, that I won't be a funk.'
'I kind of think so too, Roger.' Mr. Torrance forgets himself. 'Mind you don't be rash, my boy; and for God's sake, keep your head down in the trenches.'
Roger has caught him out. He points a gay finger at his anxious father.
'You know you laughed at mother for saying that!'
'Did I? Roger, your mother thinks that I have an unfortunate manner with you.'
The magnanimous Roger says, 'Oh, I don't know. It's just the father-and-son complication.'
'That is really all it is. But she thinks I should show my affection for you more openly.'
Roger wriggles again. Earnestly, 'I wouldn't do that.' Nicely, 'Of course for this once--but in a general way I wouldn't do that. We know, you and I.'
'As long as we know, it's no one else's affair, is it?'
'That's the ticket, father.'
'Still--' It is to be feared that Mr. Torrance is now taking advantage of his superior slyness. 'Still, before your mother--to please her--eh?'
Faltering, 'I suppose it would.'
'Well, what do you say?'
'I know she would like it.'
'Of course you and I know that display of that sort is all bunkum--repellent even to our natures.'
'Lord, yes!'
'But to gratify her.'
'I should be so conscious.'
Mr.