If YOU are cross, then it is your turn, and I stand clear. If _I_ am cross, you let me work it off. When either hoists the danger-signal, the other is on guard. What do you think of that?'
'I think you are the funniest old boy--'
'Do you agree?'
'Yes, dear, of course I agree.'
'Article number one,' said Frank, and scribbled upon his paper.
'Your turn, now.'
'No, dear, I have not thought of anything.'
'Well, then, here is another point. Never take each other for granted.'
'What do you mean by that?'
'Never relax those attentions which one lover shows to another. Some husbands seem to forget that their wives are ladies. Some wives speak to their husbands with less courtesy and consideration than to any casual male visitor. They mean no harm, but they get into a slack way. We must not do that.'
'I don't think we are likely to.'
'People get into it unconsciously. Pull me up sharply at the first sign.'
'Yes, sir, I will.'
'The next point that I have noted is an extension of the last. Let each strive to be worthy of the love of the other. People get slovenly and slipshoddy, as if it didn't matter now that they were married. If each were very keen to please the other, that would not be so. How many women neglect their music after marriage.'
'My goodness, I haven't practised for a week!' cried Maude.
'And their dress and their hair'--Maude's hand flew up to her curls. 'My darling, yours is just perfect. But you know how often a woman grows careless. "He will love me anyhow," she says to herself, and perhaps she is right, but still it is not as it should be.'
'Why, Frank, I had no idea you knew so much.'
'I have heard my friends' experiences.--And the man too: he should consider his wife's feelings as much as he did his sweetheart's. If she dislikes smoke, he should not smoke. He should not yawn in her presence. He should keep himself well-groomed and attractive. Look at that dirty cuff! I have no business to have it.'
'As if it could make any difference to me.'
'There now! That is what is so demoralising. You should stand out for the highest. When I came to you at St Albans, I had not dirty cuffs.'
'You forgive me the music, Frank, and I'll forgive you the cuff. But I agree to all you say. I think it is so wise and good. Now I've got something to add.'
'Good. What is it?'
'Each should take an interest in the other's department.'
'Why, of course they should.'
'But it is not done.'
'Why naturally, dear, you take an interest in my City work.'
'Yes, sir, but do you take as keen an interest in my housekeeping?'
'Perhaps I have been a little thoughtless.'
'No, no, dear, you haven't. You are always full of consideration. But I have noticed it with mother, and with others also. The husband pulls out his cheque-book at the end of the week or month, and he says, "Well, this is rather more than we can afford," or "This is less than I expected," but he never really takes any interest in his wife's efforts to keep things nice on a little. He does not see it with her eyes and try to realise her difficulties. Oh, I wish I could express myself better, but I know that the interest is one- sided.'
'I think what you say is quite right. I'll try to remember that. How shall we enter it upon our list?'
'That Interests should be mutual.'
'Quite right. I have it down. Well, any more points?'
'It is your turn.'
'Well, there is this, and I feel that it is just the holiest thing in matrimony, and its greatest justification--that love should never degenerate into softness, that each should consciously stimulate the better part of the other and discourage the worse, that there should be a discipline in our life, and that we should brace each other up to a higher ideal. The love that says, "I know it is wrong, but I love him or her so much that I can't refuse," is a poor sort of love for the permanent use of married life. The self-respect which refuses to let the most lofty ideal of love down by an inch is a far nobler thing, and it wears better too.'
'How will you express all that?'
'Mutual respect is necessary for mutual love.'
'Yes, I am sure that that is right.'
'It sounds obvious, but the very intensity of love makes love soft and blind.