Why do you choose?'"
"'I can't say why,' said 7 'unless I make a speech.'"
"'Well, make a speech.'"
"'I can't speak till I am set free; how can I make a speech with all these people holding me?'"
"'We are afraid to let you go,' said the Nurse, 'you will run away.'"
"'I will not.'"
"'You promise that?' said the doctor."
"'I promise,' said 7."
"'Let him go,' said the Doctor, and accordingly they put a piece of carpet under him, and the Footsmith sat on his head, the way they do when horses fall down in the street. Then they all got clear away, and the Footsmith got away too; and after a long struggle 7 got to his feet."
"'Now make the speech,' said the Doctor."
"'I can't begin,' said 7, 'till I get a glass of water on a table. Who ever heard of any one making a speech without a glass of water!'"
"So they brought a glass of water."
"'Ladies and Gentlemen - ' began 7, and then stopped."
"'What are you waiting for?' said the Doctor."
"'For the applause, of course,' said 7. 'Who ever heard of a speech without applause?'"
"They all applauded."
"'I am mad,' said 7, 'because I choose to be mad; and I never shall, will, might, could, should, would, or ought to be anything but mad. The treatment that I get is enough to make me mad.'"
"'Dear me, dear me!' said the Doctor. 'What treatment?'"
"'Morning, noon, and night am I treated worse than any slave. There is not in the whole range of learning any one thing that has so much to bear as I have. I work hard all the time. I never grumble. I am often a multiple; often a multiplicand. I am willing to bear my share of being a result, but I cannot stand the treatment I get. I am wrong added, wrong divided, wrong subtracted, and wrong multiplied. Other numbers are not treated as I am; and, besides, they are not orphans like me.'"
"'Orphans?' asked the Doctor; 'what do you mean?'"
"'I mean that the other numbers have lots of relations. But I have neither kith nor kin except old Number l, and he does not count for much; and, besides, I am only his great-great-great-great- grandson.'"
"'How do you mean?' asked the Doctor."
"'Oh, he is an old chap that is there all the time. He has all his children round him, and I only come six generations down.'"
"'Humph!' said the doctor."
"'Number 2,' went on 7, 'never gets into any trouble, and 4, 6, and 8 are his cousins. Number 3 is close to 6 and 9. No. 5 is half a decimal and he never gets into trouble. But as for me, I am miserable, ill-treated, and alone.' Here poor 7 began to cry, and bending down his head sobbed bitterly.''
When the Teacher got thus far there was an Interruption, for here little Tineboy began to cry too.
"Why are you crying?" said Ruffin, the bully boy.
"I am not crying," said Tineboy, and he cried away faster than ever.
The Teacher went on with the story.
"The Alphabet Doctor tried to cheer poor 7."
"'Hear, hear!' said he."
"7 stopped crying and looked at him. 'No,' said he, 'you should say "speak, speak," it is I that should say "hear, hear."'"
"'Certainly,' said the Doctor, 'you would say that if you were sane; but then, you see, you are not sane, and being mad you say what you should not say.'"
"'That is false,' said 7."
"'I understand,' said the Doctor, 'but do not stop to argue the point. If you were sane you would say "that is true," but you do say "that is false," meaning that you agree with me.'"
"7 looked pleased at being so understood.
"'No,' said he - meaning 'yes.'"
"'Then,' continued the Doctor, 'if you say "speak, speak," when a sane man would say "hear, hear," of course, I should say "hear, hear," when I mean "speak, speak," because I am talking to a madman.'"
"'No, no,' said 7 - meaning, 'yes, yes.'"
"'Go on with your speech,' said the Doctor."
"'No 7 took out his handkerchief and wept."
"'Ladies and Gentlemen,' he went on, 'once more I must plead the cause of the poor ill-used number - that is me - this orphan number - this number without kin - '"
Here Tineboy interrupted the Teacher, "How had he no skin?"
"Kin, my child. Kin, not skin," said the Teacher.
"What is the difference between kin and skin?" asked Tineboy.
"There will be but a small difference," said the Teacher, "between this cane and your skin if you interrupt." So Tineboy was quiet.
"Well," said the teacher, "poor 7 went on - 'I implore your pity for this forlorn number. Oh, you boys and girls, think of a poor desolate number, who has no home, no friends, no father, mother, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, nephew, niece, son, daughter, or cousin, and is desolate and alone.'"
Tineboy here set up a terrible howl.
"What are you crying for?" said the Teacher.
"I want poor old 7 to be more happy. I will give him some of my lunch and a share of my bed."
The Teacher turned to the Monitor.
"Tineboy is a good child," he said, "let him for the next week learn 7 times 0 up, and perhaps that will comfort him."
The Raven, sitting in the window, winked his eye to himself and hopped about with a suppressed merry croak, shook his wings, and seemed hugging himself and laughing.